So the challenge was for a short story/flash fiction in 200 words or less that starts with the phrase 'Shadows crept across the wall'. There was the added challenge of using the word orange, writing in your style, and using exactly 200 words. I managed 200 words exactly as well as keeping this well within my style.
That phrase immediately made me think of something spooky and ominous, which with my recent state of mind with my grandmothers death was not really a good place for me to go. I don't want to write about death just now. It took me a while to make myself move away from the utterly morbid.
I am however very happy with what I did come up with. I always find flash fiction to be hard since getting in a story and the imagery I like to use under the word count is so hard to do. What can I say I get wordy. I hope you enjoy.*
Missives
Shadows crept across the wall as the
dark form of a man crossed in front of the moonlit window. Anne sat
on a rickety stool in the middle of the room staring at the cold
stone floor hidden beneath dead leaves.
“You are late.” She said with
annoyance to the man as he entered the abandoned goat hovel.
“Bloody geese attacked me.” he
grumbled scowling back to where he had come from.
“Do you have it?” she asked with
impatience, obviously not caring about his excuses.
He produced from his pouch a piece of
parchment with a hawk imprinted in the red wax seal. He began to
extend it to her but then hesitated,“And this will settle our
accounts?”
Pressing her lips together she nodded
“Your secret is safe.”
With this assurance he handed her the
letter which she took and pressed to her lips momentarily. It still
smelled of the sea.
He did not wait for her to dismiss him,
nor did she watch him as he skulked back into the night. The only
mind she had was for the words that awaited her in the letter,
reminding her that she was not truly alone.
* If you enjoyed it you can go over to Rach Writes and vote for me by clicking the like button by my link. I am #75.
* If you enjoyed it you can go over to Rach Writes and vote for me by clicking the like button by my link. I am #75.
Ooh, I'm dying to know what the letter says!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, who was it from? Somebody who loves her, I hope :-)
ReplyDelete(As I accidentally posted on the previous blog)
ReplyDeleteGeese! Haha! The Dogs!
It's so nice to hear from Inkspot again; she's such a vivid character. Beautiful imagery.
fine details...curious about that seal!
ReplyDeleteThere's much more to this story than what's there. Excellent environment you set up here. Nice one! :)
ReplyDeleteHello from the Campaign trail! I'm in the Adult Fiction group. Nice little piece of flash, by the way -- intriguing. Neil
ReplyDeleteLove it! Very interesting! I loved the last line. It really nicely closed the entire passage. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm entry #19
I really enjoyed this piece of flash fiction. It's exactly the kind of thing I like to read :-)
ReplyDeleteNice work! Atmospheric and engaging :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you enjoyed it
ReplyDeleteThanks. I futzed with that line for a while before I was completely happy with it.
ReplyDeleteI read your entry. Nice work.
Hello! Thanks for stopping in, and I am glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, there is so much more story here. I could probably write multiple novels about what is happening in this world.
ReplyDeleteThe letter is from someone who loves her and she loves, though they can never be together. Very tragically romantic.
ReplyDeleteI toyed with it for a while until I came up with just what I wanted. Though honestly most of it was written on the back of my grocery list while standing in the produce section.
ReplyDeleteSeal of the man she loves.
ReplyDeleteHmm you know I hadn't given much thought to the actual contents of the letter. Most of the time they say everything but what really should be said. With these two it is sometimes easier to talk about the mundane than what lies beneath. There is a great distance between them and lots of circumstances keeping them apart. Normally a letter is just the facts about where they are and what has happened to keep the other sane that they are both still alive. It always hurts too much for them to admit any feelings to one another, that would simply make their separation too much to bear.
ReplyDeleteI imagine it talks about sailing in the Mediterranean Sea and how pleasant the weather always is there in the winter. It would talk about how the men do not miss the cold dangers of the German Sea, and how the life at court it the least missed of all. It would talk about the freedom of the ocean and the life of a privateer. It would also speak of a longing for home and regrets that it had been so long and was so far away. It would speak of hopes for a chance to be at home for even a short while. It would say he missed her.
Not that I have thought about this...
Oooh! You left me hanging! I want to know more!! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm #37
Well written and now you got me curious as to what is in that letter.
ReplyDeleteSo what's in the letter? Nice imagery. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower and entry #96
very mysterious - I like period pieces too
ReplyDeletecome visit at #103
Oo, I'm curious now. Great work! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am glad I created some interest.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and that seems to be the thought most people are left with.
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to have to figure out what exactly is in the letter now that everyone keeps asking.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am glad you enjoyed it, and welcome to the crazy that is my blog.
Thank you. I tend to write a lot of period pieces since I work for a renaissance faire. Sort of goes with the territory.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. Trust me there is a lot more to the story. Romance, murder, passion, sorrow, loss, hope...you know all those good adjectives that make you want to see more of a story.
ReplyDeleteVery, very nice atmosphere in this, and mystery.
ReplyDeleteI'm #58, Tale Spinning
Intriguing - seems like a slice of a much bigger story.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! I loved the whole 'holding it to her lips and smelling the sea' part! Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteIntriguing. A secret romance maybe?
ReplyDeleteThis would be a great trailer for a novel. Are you writing one with these characters. I'm hooked and want to read more. I "liked" it.
ReplyDeleteI'm #88. Comments welcome.
Richard
I'd like to know who the sailor is...nicely done.
ReplyDeletea secret letter! oooo! nice piece!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Funny I didn't think of it as mysterious when I was writing it, of course I know what is going on so that helps I guess.
ReplyDeleteIt is part of something much much larger.
ReplyDeleteIt was this lovely image that came to me. You know how women will scent letters with perfume? Yea that sparked the image, but since it was written aboard a ship the salt air instead of perfume.
ReplyDeleteNot so much secret to anyone bothering to pay attention. More a romance that can never be what it should be.
ReplyDeleteThat is complicated. I would love to, but there is an issue with other peoples characters involved.
ReplyDeleteA captain, a Baron, a man she can never truly have...
ReplyDeleteThank you. She is sort of all about secrets.
ReplyDeleteOooh, a letter with a wax seal, smells like the sea, a reminder that she truly was not alone....reminded me instantly of "Persuasion". Nice job! Off to vote! I'm # 61.
ReplyDeleteThat is an incredible compliment. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteNice poetic feel to this, very smooth. I'm also intrigued about the letter, as well as his secret!
ReplyDeleteThank you, glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteWanted more!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteI would like to know what is contained in the letter? Nice job!
ReplyDeleteLove the tone of this! You set the scene really well. =)
ReplyDelete