Monday, April 30, 2012

The right to whine

I have the most amazing support system known to man. My friends and family are so incredibly supportive. I am truly lucky and blessed to have them around all the time to pick me up, dust me off, and help me on my way when I need it.

There is a problem though in having such a fantastic support group in your life. It is impossible to just feel inadequate. I know that sounds like a really stupid thing to say. Who in their right mind wants to feel inadequate? Well I would venture to say no one actually wants to feel inadequate. It is more of the fact that sometimes you feel justifiably inadequate and all that positive support is just frustrating.

I am not perfect by any means. I am really good at a lot of stuff, and pretty ok at others, but somethings I am just not very good at. When I come up upon one of those things that I do not excel at, there is no option to feel bad about not being good at it, or to even vocalize it.

I can say "I am really not good at this" and will be shot down by three dozen voices extolling my virtues. This makes me feel like crap on a number of levels.

First of all, I wasn't looking for validation or pity when I made that statement. I said it out of honest frustration. I don't fish for compliments, and that is what it comes across as.

Second, I am allowed to not love everything I do. I know we are our own worst critics, but it is that self criticism that makes us strive to be better. Thinking I am less than perfect makes me work harder. It is a strange form of self  motivation, but it is the way I work.

Also, sometimes you just need to whine.
Years ago one of my friends developed a phrase she would have to use when people started to vent to her. She would ask if she was just listening or if she was supposed to be fixing things. It was a very good option to give people. Sometimes I don't want to be fixed. Sometimes I just want to whine and for you to let me feel validated in my whining.

So, no I am not great at everything, and that is alright. It is alright that I feel this way sometimes, and it is alright that my friends just let me feel that way. It is great that they will keep me in check if I actually get past the point of whining and to the land of true self deprecation.

I think that is all the whining I have to do about whining for today.


  1. I love the idea of just listening or supposed to be fixing. A lot of times we just need someone to listen.

  2.  It really is sort of a brilliant concept. We tend to think when someone comes and starts venting to us that they are looking for some sort of solution to their woes, where in reality sometimes you just want to get it all out of your system.