Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Who are you?

Last night I sat perched on the edge of an overstuffed leather chair, nibbling on a piece of red velvet birthday cake, surrounded by rhythmic music, and watching the freaks play with their lighted hoops, colorful scarves, and flashing juggling balls. It was another wonderful evening with the circus freaks and play time was in full swing.

One of our hosts, a lovely statuesque woman who they lovingly call the Empress, sat across from me enjoying her slice of cake. I had the pleasure of getting to know her some out at faire during this past season. She had spent so much time in our sandbox, and I was happy to spend some time in hers. At faire though it is hard to get to know anyone. We only  knew each other in character.

So it was that she asked me what all people ask in the beginning; who are you? She wanted to know me out of character, which is only natural. My characters are fascinating, but they are not me. So she asked me, and I just sort of stared at her blankly.

I had no idea what to say to her. I mean really, how often are you honestly asked who you are? What do you really say to that?

I mean there are the obvious generic answers of job, marital status, political or religious affiliation; but is that who I am? I mean I am a Data Analyst. I am married. I am a pagan. I don't have political affiliations. How much of me is that though.

I didn't really manage to answer her. The setting wasn't exactly conductive to a long conversation. She had subjects who were wanting her attention, and I had more than my own share of distractions, so the question was never answered.

I have been pondering it over though. If I was asked again what would I say? This is the same sort of conundrum that plagues me when I have to fill in the info section of a website. I normally just say I am me and you either know me or you don't.

There has to be more though. There has to be something I can say that isn't my basic societal stats. So after much deliberation instead of sleeping this is what I have come up with:

I am a performer. This one should be obvious what with the faire thing and all, but it is a very large part of me. I have been performing pretty much since I could speak. I love telling stories more than anything else. Sometimes I ramble, but I like to think that even then I am at least engaging and entertaining.

I am a writer. This sort of falls in with being a story teller I suppose. I like telling stories, but I like making them up more. Another thing that I have been doing since I could talk. Just ask my mother, she will tell you all about the long car trips where I would talk for hours on end.Maybe with my blog I should have put this first, but it honestly wasn't the first thing that came to my mind.

I am a nurturer. I had a whole bunch of random things that I felt could be neatly grouped here. I love to cook, but more so I love to feed people. I love taking care of my people. Bringing them comfort in some way, whether it be a random present, a word of encouragement, a tasty treat, or a strong hug, I like to be there.

I am a costumer. I am not sure seamstress is really the right word, because there are a lot of places my sewing is lacking. I love to create images though. I like looking at a group and creating a look for them. I love the sewing and actually creating the pieces as well.

That is all I have come up with so far. I know there is more to me, but that is a good start.
In the end though I stand by what most of my profiles say; I am just me. You know me or you don't, and all you can do to really know me is just stick around.

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