Friday, October 19, 2012

We salute you

Nearly every day on my way home from work I get stopped at the same red light. It is just one of those ill timed lights that always is just turning red as I come around the corner. It is not a particularly long light and it is not so close to the house to be frustrating, it just is. Still this is not any ordinary red light.

This particular light is at a corner where there is a small hair salon that has decided that the most effective form of advertisement for their cheap hair cuts is to have someone standing on the corner holding a sign. This guy isn't one of those fancy sign spinners or dressed up in some ridiculous costume. He is just a guy with a sign.

Alright so he is a guy with a sign who is most often shirtless and dancing poorly to the music in his head. I suppose that in itself makes him eye catching. I mean I always notice him, and I do know his sign says $9 hair cuts in big green letters, so I would have to say their advertising budget is in some way being well spent.

The thing is though, I try desperately never to look at this guy because he is embarrassing. I mean he doesn't embarrass me per se, more that I am embarrassed for him. I mean standing in a stupid costume is degrading enough, but at least it seems legitimate. I mean they paid him to stand in the dumb costume so you know its a thing.

I somehow doubt his job description included 'rip off your shirt and gyrate like some aging rock god on the side of the road'. I am pretty sure they just said hold the sign and wave to people. He had other things in mind though. Of course if I was having to stand on a street corner for hours on end holding a sign I would probably get inventive with what I did too. I wouldn't take my top off or dance, but I am sure I would do something odd.

I keep trying to tell myself I wouldn't be so embarrassed for him if he was really attractive with his shirt off or a really good dancer, but he is neither of these things. I mean I am not covering my eyes and thinking 'Dear gods put your shirt on their are children in the area'. He is not offensive in his looks, but he is certainly not on my list of men to watch walk around shirtless. He has a bit of a beer belly which I am sure is cute and endearing to someone closer to him.

His dancing is also really bad. It is the type of thing that if you saw in a club you would point, laugh, and move away from. It goes from bad air guitar to what I assume is supposed to be provocative or sexy in some way. It is mostly disturbing and sad. It makes me want to turn away. Every time he rubs his poochy belly or slaps his own ass I cringe inside.

Of course he is either unaware of his faults or really just doesn't care. I suppose if I was needing money enough to do his job I wouldn't care either. In that thought alone I have to say that I think that guy, as embarrassing and awkward as he is, is pretty damn awesome. He is doing what he has to do and is not embarrassed or ashamed in the least. In fact I don't think he knows what the word shame means.

So here's to you awkward dancing sign guy. You rock on with your bad self.

I may sit over here, divert my eyes, and be embarrassed for you, but I still salute you.

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