We all find ourselves at a point where life just is completely overwhelming. The feeling of being completely out of control and helpless in any aspect of your own life is a horrible feeling. I mean it is your life and you should be able to have a say in what is happening. Sometimes though that is not the case, and you are left on the sidelines being a spectator.
I have hit one of those points where one aspect of my life has taken off in a direction I absolutely hate and there is practically nothing I can do about it. I mean I have three very clear options; one which will save my sanity but leave us in a very bad situation causing undue stress, one that will keep things even but make me miserable, and one that will take a long time to resolve but leave us at least even and eventually hopefully restore sanity. I obviously am going with choice three because I am all too often rational and practical in my life.
In the meantime however I have to do something to keep from slipping into despair over an ugly situation. I can't let this ugliness define me. If I let it become too much a part of me then I am fairly sure it will cause some damage to more of my life than I am willing to have damaged. I will not let this drag me down.
So I am taking control of things that I know I can control. I will have order and positive completion in my life one way or another. In this case I am focusing on my house because it is the most tangible thing I have to work on. Being able to see positive changes in the real world is incredibly satisfying and rewarding.
The good thing is that my house can use a lot of work. I think every home owner thinks that about their house, but with mine it is true. The roof needs to be replaced, the fence is falling down, we have two weed trees that have to be taken down before they fall on someones house, there is a small jungle worth of weedy shrubs in the backyard that need to be killed off, and there are some maintenance projects that have to be done to the deck. That is just the outside of the house.
Inside we still have a two foot hole in the guest shower that needs to be repaired, and then of course the entire thing will have to be re-tiled. We have five new ceiling fans to install. We have wood paneling that has to be removed from one wall in the living room. There are two walls in the house that need to be pretty much completely needs new dry wall. There is wall paper on the ceiling in one room that needs to be pulled down. All the ceilings in the house need to be re-taped and painted. Both bathrooms need new vanities and paint. The office needs to be re-textured. Everything needs new paint. The kitchen floors need to be redone.
See? That is a lot of work to be done. Some of it we can do on our own and some we will have to hire people to do. It will cost money, but that is what we have jobs for right? We make money so we can have nice things and live in nice places. At least that is the theory.
We spent our 4th of July prioritizing projects and making decisions on what we could do and what we would have to find someone to do the job for us. It is all hard work, but it feels so rewarding in the end that I don't mind at all. There is something nice about being sore and exhausted after a good day of hard work.
This weekend will see a deck project completed and ceiling fans hung. There will also be some conquering over the weeds in the back yard and some internal organizing and cleaning. Not to mention we should be getting some estimates on big jobs that we can't actually do (roofing, tree removal) so that we can get an idea on time frames.
All of this may actually just be distractions and busy work. None of this will actually solve the problems I have elsewhere in my life. I know all of this. I also know that this is the only thing keeping me sane.
Like I said a little hard work will do wonders for a person.
A busy beylit is a happy and sane beylit.