Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Dreaming up the past

I've been having strange dreams of late. Of course I always have what people would consider strange dreams, but lately they have been striking me as strange. I wake up from my dreams feeling exhausted which is a less than pleasant side effect. Just because I ran a marathon in my dreams doesn't mean I should wake up feeling like I have.

Most of my dreams have been about people I have been close to in my life but aren't close to anymore. It is like going to some sort of life reunion every night when I sleep. People I haven't thought about in years are suddenly front and center in my dreamscape making themselves the center of attention.

Last night I dreamed about a guy I was friends with in high school. He was just a friend from theater, but we were very close. I sort of knew when I graduated I would probably never speak to him again. While I was very active online he was not. It was still before social media sites and still at a point where online communication was hit or miss.

I remember clinging to him and crying on his shoulder during our theater banquet. He was crying. I was crying. We both just held on and cried. We both knew that this was going to be the end of our friendship. We were both right. I think I might have seen him once or twice after school ended.

Sure I could try to reconnect with him now. The advent of social media sites has allowed people to reconnect with long lost friends left and right. Don't think I haven't tried. He is still not active online. He has a Facebook account but from what I can tell he never actually checks it.

I hadn't really thought about him in quite some time. Its been over a decade now. Why should I.

Then there he was in my dream. I was walking down a street in a college town I have never been to, and there he was. He was coming out of a restaurant and we bumped into one another. We both went to apologize and then stopped as recognition flooded us. He uttered my name, maiden name, in disbelief, and I almost squeed out his name before we had thrown our arms around one another in a hug so very tight.

We stood there talking as fast as we could about all the things we could think of. I told him I was married, he told me the same. We rambled about jobs and moves and life as people pushed past us on this busy sidewalk. Then as quickly as he had appeared he was gone. He gave me one last long hug before he had to leave for a class. He promised he would call.

I stood there in the dream watching him walk away and I could feel inside that it was the last time I would see him. This was just an anomaly. He was just a blip in my life, and much as I knew in high school that it was the end, I knew that this would not happen again.

I woke up feeling sad. I was tired and I was sad. I suddenly very much missed my friend.

I looked him up again and very little has changed. His Facebook page is still there, and my friends request still shows as sent, and it still seems like he almost never accesses it. He is still there but still out of contact.

I would prefer dreams of zombie apocalypses or flying squid over this sort of dream any day of the week. Visions of the bizarre don't disturb me. Reminders of people that are far gone that leave me sad and wanting are not welcome.

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