Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I'd like to buy the world a reality check

The world is full of small minded, hateful, stupid people. This is not something I am just realizing. This is a sad truth that I have known for a very long time. I try very hard to not focus on these people and the petty hateful things they say, but sometime you just can't block out the dumb.

I wasn't surprised when I woke up Monday morning that people had managed to get their panties in a twist over something as inane as a Coke commercial. I was expecting to see some amount of outrage over the rather underwhelming performance of the Bronco's at the Superbowl. Instead I got to see post after post about this supposedly offensive and unamerican commercial.

Now I have to say that the people talking about it on my friends list were all talking about how stupid the outrage was. I don't think I had a single person who was swearing off Coke products forever over the incident. My friends tend to not be stupid; that's why they are my friends.

Everyone has a right to their own opinions. I don't have to agree with yours, and you don't have to agree with mine. I am certain that all of these people feel justified in what they think and normally I would ignore it. Only this just seems excessively ridiculous to me.

No one was up in arms about the fact that the commercial showed a gay couple and their daughter. I would think that that would have been what the outrage was about. In fact the first thing I read about it had a header about the fact that the couple was in the commercial. I expected to see endless homophobic rants about Coke destroying the sanctity of marriage and families or whatever hateful stupidity people like that spew.

Only that wasn't even mentioned. Not once did I see anything even referencing that.

It was all because Coke dared to have America the Beautiful sung in multiple languages. A song in a commercial about soda was sung in foreign languages and people totally lost their shit. What the hell?!

First let us address the just plain ignorant points of these peoples arguments:

1) America the Beautiful is not the National Anthem. The Star Spangled Banner is our National Anthem. Yes it is obscure, yes it is hard to sing, yes most people can't remember the words to it, but that is what we are stuck with.

America the Beautiful is a lovely song about America that might have made a better choice than the Star Spangled Banner, but that is a completely different discussion.

2) America the Beautiful and God Bless America are two different songs. Vastly different.

If you are going to spout off stupid crap on the internet try and at least get the title of the song correct.

Now, with that being said, I hate to burst anyones bubbles out there but America has no official language. It never has.

True most Americans speak English. You can even go so far as to say they speak American (though that makes me twitch) since American English and say English spoken in the United Kingdom can be different. Hell people make a differentiation between Spanish spoken in Mexico and Spanish spoken in Spain, so why not.

To function in American society you should speak English. It makes everything a lot easier. If I lived in a country that spoke another language I damn well would learn the native tongue even if there were people there who could speak English. It is just the thing to do. I would still speak English at home though. I wouldn't give up my native tongue completely for a new one. No one should be expected to do that.

That does not mean that English should be, or is, the only language spoken in this country. Again this may be bursting some peoples happy little 'Murica (Oh how I loathe when people use that. I feel dirty just having typed it) bubbles, but we have a lot of different cultures here. We are called a melting pot for a reason. It is all of those different cultures blending together that makes us special.

The husbeast spoke French as his first language, not English. He was born in New Orleans. Creole French is what people there speak. They speak English as well, but they still speak this beautiful form of French that is native to Louisiana. These are Americans. These are people who's families have been in south Louisiana since before America bought it from the French.

Most of the southwestern states have such heavy Hispanic influence that their people will speak both English and Spanish. When I was growing up in San Antonio it was normal that kids spoke both languages. Most of the time they were third or fourth generation American's but still had family back in Mexico that they also needed to communicate with.

The point of the commercial, which seems to have been missed, was the same point Coke has been shoving down our throats at least since they gathered a bunch of college kids on a hill in Italy and had them sing to us about buying the world a Coke and teaching them to sing in harmony back in the 70's. It is about the fact that it doesn't matter who we are, we all love coke.

This particular commercial also said that we are all American, no matter how different we are, we are all in this together. We have different backgrounds and heritages, but we are all still Americans no matter what language we speak.

And we all love Coke. 

The commercial was not unAmerican. The commercial was not the work of Communists as I saw many people say. (I think it would be more accurately described as being made by Capitalists.) The commercial was not evil or hateful or even harmful.

People that threw out their Coke products and spouted off on the internet about how America is for English speaking Americans and not for 'terrorists' and other hateful names for people of obvious ethnic backgrounds, are just being mean and hateful and in my opinion completely unAmerican. Guess what, unless your heritage is 100% Cherokee, or Navajo, or Mohawk, or some other Native American tribe, your forefathers showed up here on a boat (or in some cases walking) at some point most likely not speaking English. You are the child, or grandchild, or great great grandchild of immigrants.

Stop being ignorant fucktards America. Stop losing your shit over soda commercials and try and focus all of your crazy energy on more important things. Things that might actually matter and make a difference in the world. Try and spread a little bit of love instead of all your negative hateful bullshit. And check your facts before you say shit on the internet.

And of course, have a Coke.


  1. It's ironic, isn't it. We all started out somewhere else and that was the tribute that Coke was paying. I thought the commercial was beautiful!

  2. I totally agree. When I saw the commercial I thought it was absolutely lovely. It made me smile. It didn't make me want a coke, because I don't drink soda, but it left me sort of warm inside.