Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The language of love

Well more precisely the title should be love languages, because the language of love is French, and while I speak French (or used to, now I sort of can mumble a few phrases and pretend to know French), this is not about spoken language. This is about the ways in which people express love.

While saying you love someone is of course an expression of love, the ways in which people show their love is very very different. Some people need words, some people do tasks, some people give gifts, some people use touch. It really is dependent on who you are as to how you show your love.

One of my biggest love languages is touch.
I am a toucher. If you pass by close enough that I can make contact with you, chances are I will touch you. The more I care for you the more I touch. It is simply the physical connection I am looking for even if it is as simple as reaching out and placing a hand on your arm, scratching your back, poking your tummy, or holding your hand, or pressing my forehead to yours.

Now I don't necessarily need to be touched in return (though I am equally willing to take physical affection as I am to give it). I like it when people return love in kind, but for me it is about reaching out and making that connection with people.

It is almost an unconscious thing too. I will suddenly realize I am petting someone and not really remember starting. I will simply be passing by and reach out and run my hand along someones back as I pass. I am not looking for their attention or even recognition. I am just in my own way letting them know I am there and I care.

Another one of my love languages is food.
If I love you, I will feed you.

I think this is part of the southern woman in me, or perhaps a side effect of being raised by my grandmother, but I love feeding people. If I hear someone is sick, my instant reaction is to make a pot of soup. If I hear someone is having a bad day, my instant reaction is to bake them their favorite type of cookie. If someone is just in the slumps I want to feed them a good hearty home cooked meal. Someday I will make an amazing grandmother.

I am often told that I am an excellent cook. I like to think I am more than capable of making some truly tasty things. In the end though I think what makes my food special is that I always cook with love. Every meal I make, I make with the thought that it is going to feed someone I care about, and the love transfers through.

So those are a few of my love languages. I have more, but those two are fairly defining elements of me. Touching and food.
And now you know how to tell if I love you.

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