Monday, May 2, 2011

The sound of silence

In my mind one of the true tests of friendship is silence.
There is so much to be said about a relationship when you can just sit silently together.

I mean there are a lot of things that are important to a friendship; conversation skills, common interests, and hygiene to name a few.

The ability though to just sit together and be silent is really a testament to how comfortable you are with another person. And I am not talking about sitting together and watching a movie or some other event where you are expected to be together and not talk. I am talking about long car rides, or sitting outside on a nice afternoon, or a meal, or any moment where you are just in one anothers company.

It is finding that comfortable silence that is just sort of zen like. It just allows you to be. Being comfortable enough around someone to just be speaks volumes without a sound being made.

I have friends I can not be silent around, or perhaps can not be silent around me. There is always this tension there that forms in the void of conversation or distraction. It is the void that awkward silence forms in. No one likes an awkward silence. So you find yourself prattling on about nothing whatsoever so that you avoid that moment where nothing is being said and you begin to wonder why.

Why aren't they saying anything?
Have I upset them?
Are they bored with me?
Do I smell bad?
What are they thinking?
What do we do now?

When you can achieve silence though there are no questions. There is only you and your friend and an understanding that nothing has to be said or done, that you can simply be. It is a comfort really, and something that I highly value in my friends.

1 comment:

  1. I realized the other day that for me, most of my "comfortable silences" come with touching... as if the touch is the communication and so you don't have to say more or wonder, because the touch says it all.