Friday, June 17, 2011

Me first! Me first!

There is a phenomenon that I have been aware of for some time, but have mostly ignored until recently finding it in what I consider an extremely counter intuitive location.

The phenomenon is that of the close parking space. That coveted spot as close to the front door of the building as possible. Not necessarily the one in the shade (which if you ask me in Texas is the more premium spot) or the one that is not hemmed in by two giant vehicles (and since I drive a big ass SUV space is an issue) or the one without a shopping cart parked in the middle of it or some jerk over the line halfway into the space.
No it is the space that allows you to take the fewest steps between your vehicle and the door to where you are going.

People will drive around in circles for the longest time in search of the mythical space. They become like vultures behind the wheel of two ton death machines. We have all had that moment as we are walking to the car with a cart full of groceries when we realize that some suburban house wife in a minivan is slowly stalking us up the aisle hoping that we have a premium spot that they can nab.

I think it is safe to say we have all been witness to the spot war. Two cars see the same spot about to open up at the same time. Each car is coming from a different direction. Each car throws on their blinker and slowly edges closer and closer to the spot. The drivers begin giving each other death glares as they impatiently wait for the spot to open up. Inevitably both lurch forward at the exact same moment and a near collision ensues. It is absolute chaos.

All in the name of walking a couple hundred feet less.
I mean if it is nasty rainy weather, I can see the desire for a closer spot. Also in the extreme Texas summer heat, a few hundred feet can seem like miles. For the most part though, it is not going to kill you to park a little further away.

I in fact prefer a far spot. The walking won't hurt me at all, and I never have to wait for a spot. I always know I can park right away in the far reaches of the grocery store parking lot. I might have to walk further, but I will probably get in the store and start shopping before those spot vultures have even found someplace to park.

Recently though I have found the most absurd spot vulturing location in the world.
The gym.

That is right, the gym.
I watch every day as people circle around looking for that coveted close to the door spot. I watch them get into the same parking wars I see at the grocery store. I can watch their rage through the windshield as they realize they will have to park further out.

You are going to the gym for Pete's sake!!
The whole reason you are there is to work out and get in shape. I think it is safe to say that walking from the far end of the parking lot not only won't kill you, but will probably be in the spirit of the gym. I mean really, of all the places to try and be lazy, the gym is probably not the place to do it.

Suck it up people.
Park in Canada.

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