I just gave some advice and well wishes to someone I have never met or spoken to before. I am easily swayed by the behest of my friends, and a friend asked me to do it. (Ok so really she asked everyone who reads her blog to do it, but you know, its all the same really)
Anyways, as I was giving my few words of wisdom it made me think about my own wedding and my own marriage. I have been married seven years (I think) come this October, which in turn will make eleven years that we have been together. That is a good chunk of my life considering I am only 30.
Our wedding was...not ideal. It was not the event I had dreamed of and hoped for since I was a little girl. It was not even the event I had been planning for the year or so that we were engaged. There was no dress, there was no music other than QAL singing me down the aisle, the cake was a last minute thought and came from Kroger, and my flowers were a single bouquet of daisies purchased from the flower vendor at faire. Before the night was over my family (the very few that showed up) abandoned me and severely insulted our officiant (who is also one of our dearest friends, our boss, and had paid for everything at our wedding that needed to be paid for). I cried in the bad way, and was in general just relieved it was over so I could put the nightmare behind me.
That being said, it was brilliant.
When I push away the tulle and fondant fueled bitterness, and look at it from the perspective of a woman that was getting to join with the man she loved in front of her loved ones, it was awesome.
The best wedding gift I received was a friend singing us She Moved through the Faire.
I wore my mother's pearls.
I carried my grandfather's handkerchief.
During the ceremony the audience blew bubbles, and we were surrounded by little rainbow like orbs.
Our four closest friends stood around us, while most all of our other friends watched.
There was laughter through the night.
And in the end I was his wife and he was my husband.
All the big fluffy dresses and expensive parties in the world can not replace those things.
I had what mattered and that was enough for me.
Marriage has not been an easy road. There have been many times when I considered smothering him with a pillow, or throwing a dirty plate at his head, or just punching him in the teeth. There have been plenty of nights when we have gone to bed in stone silence with our backs to one another, silently fuming at what the other had done. Neither of us are innocent in these matters.
Together though we have done so much in such a short time. We took a leap into the unknown to better our lives. We have laughed together more than we have cried. We have had great adventures. We have sweated, and sworn, and fought for what we wanted. We have done it together.
And that is what is important.