I have decided that there are just some days I do not belong on the internet. Today is most likely one of those days. Obviously this knowledge isn't stopping me, but in my own defense the internet is sort of part of my sanity at my job. I am a fan of keeping what little sanity I have left.
It is probably the incredible amount of stress I am feeling just now combined with some really asinine working conditions that have put me in my current state of mind. I can not decide if that is an excuse or an explanation, but I am certain you will take it how you will. I have had more than my fair share of excuses lobbed at me lately, and frankly I am sick of them. With that thought I am not sure I want to make any excuses for myself.
I've been thinking long and hard about the difference between the difference between excuses and explanations. I have come to the decision that the former is separated from the latter with a firm confirmation of fault. If you say "I know I screwed up but here is why" that is an explanation. If you just say "Well this this and this happened" then it is an excuse. I am not a fan of the latter just now.
I digress.
So like I said in the beginning, today is one of those days I don't belong on the internet. I can't seem to say or do anything right today. I have put a self imposed ban on making comments on other peoples blogs because what I am saying is not coming across well at all. That and for some reason my comments are receiving replies that sort of make me want to stab someone, so that is a level of stress and anxiety I don't particularly need just now.
Actually it makes me not want to comment with anything of any actual content ever again. One poorly worded comment on my behalf has me feeling like an idiot and second guessing whether or not I should say anything at all.
I think my skin is just too thin right now and I need to avoid any form of confrontation until I have managed to sort myself out. I am not trying to make excuses here, I am just trying to explain. I am apparently in a bad head space right now, and I am sorry for anything I say that is stupid. I don't mean to offend, my filters are just broken.
I'm gonna go over here and quietly sit until the stress wears off and I am my normal rational self again.
Aww, sorry to read this. Sometimes things just come out wrong on the internet. If it's any consolation there's at least one person on the net that wouldn't be offended by anything you had to say.
ReplyDeleteI am just being hard on myself really. I haven't been sleeping well or often, I am super stressed trying to get faire started, family stuff is going crazy, my work is being particularly annoying...all in all it leads to my mouth and my brain having a disconnect. I can't say I am much better in person than on the internet right now. I said something over dinner with friends on Sunday that earned shocked gasps and loud cackling from my friends. That is the good thing about friends though, you can say dumb stuff and they laugh. I just have to remember to keep my stupid contained to people who know me.
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