Friday, January 24, 2014

I never want to go to Disney

I never want to go to Disney.

After that statement I have a large number of friends who are seriously questioning our friendship. Also there are a small number of my friends who might have just deleted me from FB and erased my number from their phones. I understand. It happens.

Over the last few years I have become increasingly aware that my friends have an incredibly strong love of all things Disney. For some it is merely a passion. For some of them it is sort of an obsession. As far as obsessions go I could think of much worse choices to obsess over, but still it is an obsession.

It is not that I dislike Disney. I actually am very fond of many Disney things. I own most Disney cartoons, I know the words to a ton of Disney songs which all play in regular rotation on my iPod, and I own a number of kitschy Disney items. I like Disney (though not nearly as much as my friends).

I still never want to go to Disney.

I am not saying that I would never go mind you, I am saying I have no desire to go. If I were to find myself in LA or in Florida, and I had some free time, and someone gave me tickets, or really wanted me to go as part of a group thing that was happening while I was in the area and had time, I would probably go. It could happen.

Also someday my theoretical children might get all Disney crazy (no thanks to our friends pumping them full of the idea of the most magical place on earth) and we possibly would go then. I know most kids like that sort of thing even if I was never one of those kids.

In one of these theoretical scenarios I am certain I would not have a completely miserable time. There is a lot to walk around and look at, and plenty of opportunities to spend my money on gifts for the mouse obsessed friends in my life. I could knock out almost all of my Christmas shopping in one go. I am even certain there is at least one incredibly slow smooth ride I could go on and not become wretchedly ill as long as I am having a good day where I am not too hot or tired (because my epic motion sickness always kicks in when I am too hot or tired). In the end it would be pleasant enough, and then I would never want to go back.

I know logically that Disney is not a Six Flags style amusement park. I know logically it would not be a trip of me sitting on planters people watching and holding the bags while everyone else rode yet another ride I could not enjoy. I know logically it would probably be a pretty nifty experience. 

I still never want to go to Disney.

Every time one of my friends makes a Disney trip (which in all seriousness is like once every three months) my feed suddenly is flooded with pictures of the Magic Kingdom, and my reaction is always the same; Meh.

They all look like they are having a blast, which is great, but I feel not even the slightest pang of jealousy. I feel no need to block their FB feeds for the duration of their trip unless they post so many pictures that it becomes annoying. Even then I can just as easily ignore them and be fine with it.

I often times see posts from friends saying they would rather be at Disney or how they are counting the days until they can go again. I am happy that the place is that appealing to them, but I just don't get it. The best thing I can come up with is to associate it with a substance addiction; Mickey Mouse is their drug and they are desperate for another hit.

So take this knowledge with you my minions. Know that while I am fond of the Mouse, I don't really get the whole obsession with going to visit his house. I don't mind hearing about it, or seeing your pictures, or getting prizes from there. I don't mind it when you totally geek out over the whole thing. Just understand that I don't share in your obsession, and I really don't understand it.

And no really, I never want to go to Disney.


  1. I completely, and totally, understand. I'm not a fan of Disney, and never was. I don't "get it". Which is fine-- I'm happy not being in the happiest place on Earth, which for some reason makes me think think of what they might put up as signs above consentration camps.

  2. That is sad to me. Disney is not about the mouse, or the money. It is about the magic. The moment when one of your favorite characters appears. Or the wonder of watching Tinkerbell fly across the Magic Kingdom sky at night! Not a cartoon, a live person. The thrill of rides. The exploration of wonderful things as they are developed. No one -ever- gives you a bad experience at Disney. No one. They bend over backwards to do just the opposite. I would probably go two/three times a year if I could afford it. Just because the place makes people happy. Even those that don't want to be. It re-affirms my faith in magic, in people.