Not that kind of girl

Ok confession time.

I hate shoes. I hate purses. I hate makeup. I hate smelly bath products. I hate getting manicures.
Yes I know that probably makes me lose my girl card or something, but it is the truth. I hate all of these things.

I like being barefoot. My favorite shoes are a pair of 3 year old $5 flip flops. I think Jimmy Choo's look like any other shoe and can't fathom why they would cost as much as they do. I can only justify spending more than $40 on a pair of shoes if they are something like my faire boots.

I would prefer not to carry a purse at all, but when I have to it is normally a messenger bag or tote of some sort. I own a black purse for dress occasions and even that was a $20 Target purse. I look for practicality in my purses. I honestly think the more you pay for a purse the uglier it is. I've seen diaper bags that were more attractive than most women's purses.

I only wear makeup for special occasions or faire. I get lost in Sephora. I have no idea what half of the things in there are. I took theatrical makeup classes and they were less complicated than some of the processes that women go through for makeup to wear to work. Also I think anyone who puts on makeup for the gym should be slapped.

I keep my nails long and shaped on my own. Add that with the fact that I can't stand to have even clear polish on my nails, and you have made manicures pointless. Why am I going to pay someone to rub lotion on my hands and soak my cuticles? Yea totally useless service. I don't find it relaxing in the least.

I think I actually have fewer products on the bathroom counter than the husbeast does. No I take that back I am now using three hair products in order to maintain my curly hair in the Texas humidity, so I now have more than he does.

You will only find the very basics there though. There is one lotion. There is one facial moisturizer. There is one face wash. There is one bottle of lavender body spray. There is deodorant. There is baby powder. That is it. That is right, only one of each. There are no long complicated cleansing processes. There are no elaborate rituals involving slathering myself in different goops and tinctures. Simple straight forward mild unscented soap and moisturizer. That is it.

I don't feel like less of a girl for any of this. I am not suffering for my Payless shoes and clearance Target purse. My skin and body aren't suffering for my uncomplicated product usage. I don't look less feminine for my lack of makeup. If I felt like it I could primp and perfume myself and dress to the nines with matching clutch and fascinator, even if I had to borrow pieces to complete the look. I can still look the look if I needed or wanted to.

Thing is, I don't really want to.

I would appreciate not getting condescending looks and being talked to like I am slow when I express my dislike of these things. I am not saying you are some sort of horrible person for wearing a ton of makeup or having an hour long beauty process that you go through twice a day. I am not telling you are an idiot for spending  more on what looks like a cheap diaper bag than I spent on a tablet for the husbeast. Hell I won't even tell you that it is ugly. 

So there you have it. I don't like girl things. I never really have. I don't care.