Wasted Energy

Yesterday was the day of broadsiding me with things that did not make me a happy shiny person. In fact they were things that filled me with a stabby rage. Honestly I don't need this sort of negative stimulation in my life just now. I am stressed, overly anxious, and a little on the depressed side most days. The last thing I need is to add partly homicidal to the list of issues just now.

As I sat seething quietly to mostly myself over the new issues at hand I realized something; being angry was just stupid. I mean I was justified in my anger, but lingering on it was just a waste of what little energy I have. I am already dedicating an enormous amount of energy to the negatives in my life, why would I add more to that list.

I realized that these things I was now angry over were really just not important in the grand scheme of things. Instead of looking at these things as bad things I need to be angry about I chose to just shake them off and look at them as things that are more pitiable than anything else. I am not going to rant and throw a tantrum, I am going to shake my head and say 'Bless their little pea picking souls'.

In the end I don't think that the people behind these slights are worth my anger. They aren't important enough and their grievances with me are petty and quite frankly beneath me. They took cowardly roads in trying to undermine me and mine, and a coward does not deserve the recognition of their actions.

This all sounds very passive aggressive of me, and maybe it is. I am alright with that. They aren't actually an active problem so why would I add to my stress level for sad jealous people? Why would I give them that satisfaction? Why would I hurt myself that way?

The answer is; I am not going to let it get to me. I am going to let it roll off of me like water off a ducks back.

Of course one should not mistake my current passivity for truly not caring. I care still. If the issue is pushed, if they actively continue to be willfully cruel to those I love or to undermine what I have worked hard for, I will not be passive any longer. Push me and I swear to all I find holy and sacred, you will regret the day you made me focus my energy on you.