As a life long insomniac I am fairly used to being tired. Tired is just another state of being that you learn to live with. I am acquainted with most every form of tired there is; from 'I sort of need a nap' to 'Oh hell I fell asleep with my eyes open'*.
I have also experienced most every kind of sleep deprivation one can outside of actual forced torture. I have had the long stretches of simply not being able to fall asleep. I have had the fitful nights of waking up every ten minutes. I have even suffered through the inexplicable sleeping 8 full hours and waking up more tired than I went to sleep.
This week has been a fun variation on the first and second kind of insomnia. I am falling asleep just fine, and while I am asleep I am sleeping hard, but then about 4am every day I wake up. What the hell is up with that? It is like my internal clock has reset itself to 4am as my wakeup time instead of 7. That is a whole three hours I am missing.
So every single morning for 4 days now I have awoken at 4am and not been able to go back to sleep for close to two and a half hours. At the start of an insomnia cycle the tiredness is always the worse. You become more cranky than usual, you get less accomplished, and you are more frustrated than you should be. This passes though.
This morning I awoke at 4:46am and groaned to myself. I was annoyed understandably. This just isn't fair. Plus it is freezing cold right now so it isn't like I can comfortably go sit on the couch and watch TV. It is cold in my living room and it is warm in my bed.
I was prepared for another couple of hours of laying awake in bed when it happened; my tummy woke up, and it was angry. I got to spend most of the next hour in and out of the bathroom being incredibly ill.
The only comfort I had was that the husbeast woke up when I crawled back into bed the first time shivering and miserable. He tried to snuggle up to me to share his warmth but it did little good since I was jumping out of bed in a matter of moments. When I came back to bed the second time, and the third and fourth, I discovered that in my absence he had rolled into my spot on the bed so that when I crawled back in I was greeted with a warm and toasty spot to lay in.
Best husbeast ever.
After my early AM adventures in sickness and sleep deprivation I decided that it was time for a sick day. There is nothing in the office that is in dire need of finishing and my body obviously thinks that I need to not leave the house today.
I am hoping that this day of sitting on my couch and playing on Pinterest will be what my body was looking for. I am hoping, probably in vain, that tomorrow morning I will happily wake up to my alarm going off at 7, and not to the clock mocking me with 4am again.
*Yes you can, and yes I have. I walked into a class in college and did this once. I woke up because someone bumped me as they were leaving. I don't recall anything that happened in the class but my prof assured me that my eyes had been open, if not glassy, the entire time.