'That' person

I screamed at a customer service representative over the phone today, and I feel very bad about it. Now don't get me wrong, I do not in any way feel bad about being so upset over the situation that I started screaming. The situation is more than scream worthy. It is genuinely rant worthy. It is squirrely wrath worthy.

This one poor woman though did not deserve to be screamed at. She did nothing wrong. She has nothing to do with what her stupid company has done to me and been doing to me for years now. It is not her fault.

I did apologize to her after I yelled. She sweetly said she understood why I was upset, but that really is no excuse. I worked in customer support over the phone, I know what it is like to have some random person start screaming at you for things that you have no knowledge of or control over. It is rude and it is just not right.

I try very hard never to be that customer. I don't want to cause some poor phone rep to need to chew on tums like they were breath mints. I don't want to make them hate their jobs and loath getting out of bed every morning. I don't want to be that way.

Today I was that person. I screamed. I used profanity. I was rude. I was a bitch.

I did apologize, repeatedly. She was very helpful and sweet, even if in the end she did nothing to resolve the situation. I apologized to the woman I was transferred to before I even began speaking. I tried not to scream at her. I think I might have sounded a little hysterical and my voice might have raised, but I don't think I yelled.

I am still very angry right now. I am angry that I am still having to deal with the same problem after three years and that it is effecting my bank account, my credit, and right  now my blood pressure. I am also angry that it made me that person. I hate this company almost as much for that as for fucking me over yet again.