Underneath it all

I am a person fueled by my own laziness. I long ago realized that if I wanted to be lazy I would have to take measures that allowed me to be so and still be a functional member of society. The most obvious place I have found this to be true is in the land of laundry.

I decided long ago that I should always have at least two weeks worth of acceptable clothing. When I was younger it was easier since I was in school and could wear pajamas if I really felt the need, which in college was more often than not. As I got into the land of having a job I now required work appropriate clothes, which sadly does not include pajamas.

Most importantly though I like to always have at least two weeks worth of socks and underwear in the house. When it comes down to it, your undernothings are sort of essential no matter what you are wearing. At least that is how things go in my house.

You may be asking why two weeks? Why not just one? Or why not three weeks? Well, there is no good answer to those questions. I simply decided two weeks was a good amount of time to cover. More than two weeks of laundry building up is just daunting to tackle for one thing. For another it is possible to get so caught up in life that it may take you more than 7 days to get around to doing one load of laundry. Also 14 is an even number, and I like even numbers.

So last week around Thursday I went in to the laundry room to get clothes for the day and I realized the baskets that hold our clean underwear were both empty. The sock hamper was also empty, but that is something I have been noting for a while now. No matter how often I do laundry there never seem to be any clean socks. The problem was though that I had done laundry on Friday night and had washed all of our undernothings.

If you are doing the math in your head that is six days, less than a weeks supply. How the  hell did that happen? Well it might be because we haven't bought new undernothings in forever and all the old ones have worn out. Either that or gnomes have been stealing our clothes again.

Any way you look at it, it was essential that we go and buy new socks and underwear immediately. I was not going to have to panic about laundry every five days. So I packed the husbeast into the car that evening and we headed to go in search of new undernothings.

Now as I mentioned before it has been some time since we bought new underwear, but as I was standing in front of the giant wall of panties I realized something important: you can not just buy white underwear unless they fall in the granny panty category. None of my choices were even close to subtle. In the six packs there would be one pair of white, one pair of black, and the rest looked like there was a disco happening on my butt. There was no end to obnoxious abstract flowers, weird stripey patterns that looked like an EKG readout, and everything was in day glow colors.

What the hell? I just want some cute and comfortable panties. Not that anyone is going to see that I am wearing day glow orange and lime green tiger striped underwear, but I know, and well it is a thing. Wearing crazy panties can put you in a certain mindset, mostly that is not work appropriate.

The husbeast giggled at me as I had a small fit in the underwear aisle about my lack of choices. After that I reminded myself that this really wasn't a big deal. I was telling the kid just a year ago that she needed to have fun undernothings. It was good advice for her, and it is good advice for me too. Sometimes you need plain white underwear, but more often than not you don't, so why not have a little fun while you can.

In the end we came away with enough undernothings to cover my two week rule. Mine are all incredibly bright and fun. I have come to terms with there being a bit of fun going on under my appropriate office attire.