Monday, January 28, 2013

I will never fall in love again

What is it about romantic movies and love stories that is so incredibly likeable? Why is it that I can't just stop watching those really cheesy romantic comedies? Why do I let myself get all gushy when I watch (voluntarily) a Nicholas Sparks movie? Why the hell did I even watch it in the first place? I mean there has to be better things out there to watch and to read than stories that center around love.

Hell it is hard to find anything that doesn't have at least some element of a love story involved. It doesn't have to be based on a Nicholas Sparks book or star some doe eyed blonde opposite some young guy with unrealistic abs to be a romance. I mean even the Transporter movies have an element of romance in them, and really those movies are just about Jason Statham beating people up, which I would be totally cool with that being the extent of the movie. Yet there is that romantic element lingering in the back ground.

Why is that? Why can't we have a story that is just devoid of romance? I am sure the stories are out there, but they are pretty few and far between. From what I can tell, no one seems to care. That vaguest element of romance lingering in the background seems to be part of a good story.

I have to admit that even in my own writing, I love writing romances. I love having two characters fall in love. I love those awkward first kisses, and those clumsy conversations, and the growing realization of their feelings inside. I love everything about it. I can't say I have ever written anything that didn't have at least some sort of romantic storyline involved.

So I have been asking myself for a while now, what is it about romance that I love so much? I think I have come to the conclusion that I like it because I am never going to fall in love again. Barring some horrible incident in which I no longer have my husbeast, that whole falling in love thing is over for me. I fell in love. I have my love. I already won in that arena. I now get to enjoy that love forever and I am perfectly happy with that.

At the same time though, falling in love is a big deal. Most people search their entire lives for love. We spend our youth going from partner to partner looking for that perfect someone. Some of us are more lucky than others to find that person quickly, or even at all. Still the simple act of searching and finding love is exhilarating.

I will never have another first kiss. I have had my fair share of first kisses in my life; some of them were amazing, some of them were terrible. When I say terrible I mean really awful like kissing a dead fish or like kissing a slobbering mastiff. Still that first kiss, that moment before your lips meet, the anticipation, the desire, the uncertainty, all of it building up for that moment of contact, is so amazing and something that you can never recapture with the same person.

The husbeast was my last first kiss. In case you were wondering if he was one of the terrible ones. It was an amazing one that I will have to share at some point in another post. Still it was the last first kiss I will ever receive. While I am more than happy to give him all my kisses for the rest of time, there will always be that part of me that will miss that thrill of the new.

Which is where romances come in. With those cheesy romantic comedies and love stories, I can live vicariously through the character and have those first kisses all over again. I can read a love story in a book and fall in love with the characters. I can go on that journey over and over again, and never stop falling in love.

Romance stories appeal to that desire we have to fall in love. Whether we are still waiting to fall in love, or if we have our love securely at our side, we always have those stories to keep us going. We can have as many first kisses as we want. We can have that thrill and anxiety of saying I love you for the first time over and over again.

I have found my one true love. I will just fall in love through characters from now on, and I am totally alright with that. 

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