Monday, September 19, 2011

Happy marriages are made by seperate vacations

What is it about traveling that makes a person lose their goddamned minds?

I don't know about you, but most of the time, when I return home from a trip with the husbeast, the first thing on my mind is contacting a divorce lawyer. Is being a poor travel companion grounds for divorce? I am sometimes inclined to think they are.

I love the man dearly, but nothing tests the strength of that love more than being trapped out of town with him.

The problem with vacations or out of town trips of any sort is the simple fact that you are away from home and together almost 24/7. That is normally a lot more daily interaction than you are used to. Most couples only see each other for half of the day at best what with work and all. So suddenly spending that much time together can be a bit of a system shock. Alone time is good for a relationship.

Still you opt to go someplace, together, and then you are stuck. If one of you has a bad day or starts behaving badly, it is hard for the other to escape. There is no place to go and cool down and get over whatever is pissing you off. You are stuck in the seat next to them in the car for another three hours, or sharing a tiny bed with them in a cramped hotel room, or are surrounded by Taylor Swift concerts and road closures with no detours* and no gps with a violent thunderstorm raging preventing you from escaping your hotel (not that I speak from personal experience of that exact situation)

I think the general stress of travel and being in strange and unfamiliar surroundings just makes things a little more volatile. People both act and react differently than normal. Feelings are more easily hurt and nerves are more easily hit.

I have a girlfriend who insists her marriage is successful because she and her husband take separate vacations. I used to think that was a silly and sometimes harsh statement. The more I travel with the husbeast, the more I think she is onto something.

I love the man dearly. Sometimes I just love him more when he is not here.

* Tulsa Oklahoma is made of complete fail. An entire southern facing highway was closed and there was absolutely no detours posted. You just came across a closed sign and were shunted off onto some other road with no indication of how to get back to where you were heading. I was never more pissed off about not having a smart phone or a GPS system in my life. I really needed the beer that was in the bar at the other end of that closed highway.


  1. I think happiness is separate bathrooms, so why not separate vacations? J & I are actually taking separate trips on the same weekend, so we'll both come excited to be back home with each other. We didn't PLAN it that way, but it just worked out that way, so that's nice.

  2. Hmm....sounds to me you've been on holiday with my ex-husband :-)

  3. Every year at Mardi Gras...I get to "that point" with my drunken husband and have to get some space. He still doesn't really get it...but I somehow convince him that he if doesn't give me some space, I will kill him...and we work it out. But to some degree...I can really, really understand.