Lost: My Give-a-damn
Last seen: Well I can't really recall where or when I last saw it, but I know it has been missing for a while, and it is sort of important so you know, I would like it back.
If Found: Do not make any sudden moves around it as it is very skittish and might run away. Please contact me and I will come and try and retrieve it. You can keep it occupied with shiny objects and gummy bears, but that only lasts a short time.
Reward: My endless gratitude or maybe something shiny...or gummy bears. Everyone likes gummy bears right?
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