Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My own worst enemy

There is this strange thing that happens in my world whenever I start a new faire season. It is this weird mental block that settles in on me that convinces me that I suddenly don't have time to do anything at all. Somehow my brain tells me that every second of my free time has suddenly vanished and I can no longer accomplish pretty much anything.

The thing is though, I know this is a lie. I know that realistically I can still get most everything I am putting off done. Yes I have lost access to my weekends. Those 48 hours are taken up by faire. I will get nothing productive around the house done. Also during the fall faire I lose my Friday nights to driving. Still there are four other nights in my week, so why is it I can't manage to do anything?

Mondays are hard because I effectively have faire hangover. I am tired from the weekend and pretty much don't want to do anything at all. By the time I drag myself home from work the only thing I really want to do is collapse on the couch and watch TV all night. Monday is grocery day though so I always have to stop at the store on the way home. Somehow by the time I put the groceries up I have convinced myself that this was enough of an accomplishment for the night that I can do nothing else.

Tuesday nights my game group meets. That pretty much makes the evening useless. I have people over from about 6:30 until 10. The thing is I get home at 5:20. That leaves almost an hour where I could do things like wash the dishes, or quickly vacuum the house, or start a load of laundry. There is a lot I could get done in that hour.

Wednesdays are this strange point in the week when I have no good excuse for being lazy. I am supposed to be heading to B's house for some junkyard gym time. Here lately I have been making the excuse that I am not supposed to go without the husbeast because he wants to go but since he doesn't get home until well after 6 we just can't go. I should be able to make dinner, clean  up the kitchen, vacuum, clean the bathroom, fold the laundry, or any other number of chores. Somehow though the only 'chore' I ever seem to manage is to catch up on the DVR.

Thursdays are faire prep days. I have to do the laundry and stuff for faire. So that is precisely one load of laundry which in reality takes about 30 minutes of my time including the folding and packing portion. Also I have been really bad lately and have been throwing the wash in before I go to bed, and then Friday morning throwing it in the dryer before I go to work, and then packing it Friday afternoon before we leave. So Thursdays end up being me watching TV and being thoroughly unproductive yet again.

So you see there, three whole evenings where I could be doing things. There are three evenings that I could spread out weekly chores like laundry, vacuuming, and general cleaning. There is more than enough time in every evening to cook dinner and tidy the kitchen. There is plenty of time in my schedule for me to work out.

My brain just doesn't agree. My brain somehow sees the loss of my lazy weekends as a huge issue. It tells me that I need to do as little as possible on those weeknights so that I can rest and relax. My brain says that watching TV is much more urgent than vacuuming up the dog and cat hair from the floor. Chores are a distant second in importance to my ass groove.

As I sit here at my desk, at my job, with nothing productive to do at work, I feel that my job is such a waste of productive time. Sure I am tired now but I am awake and it is daylight. I could totally be cleaning my bathroom, or vacuuming my floors, or doing the grocery shopping right now. Hell I could be at the gym working out. In reality though I know that I would probably just be sitting on my couch checking facebook and watching something on my DVR. 

I find this all a little disturbing and completely unacceptable. I guess in reality we are our own worse enemies. My greatest accomplishment really is just getting my ass off of my couch and doing something.


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