Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Baby got back...or not

If I have to be fat, could I at least have enough ass to keep my panties up? I mean seriously, for a fat girl I have absolutely no ass and it is just not really fair. I have boobs that could rule the world but nothing to balance them out on the other end.

It is not an uncommon experience for me to be walking along, minding my own business, and have my drawers go slipping away. This is just not right or fair. I mean this is not something that can be solved with something as simple as a belt. Turns out you need an ass for a belt to be useful.

The husbeast suffers from the same sad lack of posterior. We like to joke that he looks sort of like a frog standing up. His lack of butt is actually worse than mine. His pants never stay up under most any circumstances.

Some day they husbeast and I are going to have children and I feel very bad for them. I tell him all the time that we are going to have daughters with a head full of curly red hair, exotic shaped green eyes, big boobs, legs for days, and absolutely no ass.

It is rather unfortunate for our future daughters, or sons. It will be a lifetime of their pants not staying up no matter how hard they try. No belts will ever save them from their pants slowly sliding down to show off their underwear. At least I will know that it won't be them thinking it is some sort of bad fashion statement.

I feel their pain and they haven't even been conceived yet.

Oh well, I suppose there is nothing for it. I have gone this long having to shimmy my undernothings back up to where they belong. At least I will be able to give my kids advice on how best to do it discreetly in public.

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