Sunday, November 17, 2013

Conversations at faire

I walk into the shop with two boxes in my arms for patrons. Standing in front of the entrance to my register area are three people completely blocking the entrance.

Me: Pardon me.
Patrons do not move.
Me: Pardon me.
Patrons still do not move or acknowledge me.
Me: *stepping right up next to them and speaking louder* Pardon me. Pardon me. Pardon me.
Woman finally looks up at me
Me: *speaking slower and louder* Par-don me.
Woman: Oh *shoves the men with her out of the way* Sorry we don't understand your language.

All three of the people were speaking English to one another so English is not what she meant by she didn't understand me. Apparently 'Pardon me' isn't English anymore.

It is barbarian themed weekend at faire so there are a lot of people wearing loin cloths and no shirts. One man walks in in jeans and a t-shirt and I immediately recognize him as a regular patron over the last decade who normally is shirtless.

Me: Well you certainly look different.
Him: Yea you are more used to this *lifts his shirt to show off his chest*
Me: Yes we are though I recognized your face first.
Him: Wow that is really nice, thank you.
Me: Yea I wouldn't know anything about people only knowing what my chest looks like.
Him: *glances at my chest blushes and looks back at me*
Me: Remember the phrase is 'My eyes are up here'.
Him: I've heard it enough, I just never realized I should be the one saying it.

Still barbarian weekend. Young man walks into the shop wearing what is basically a diaper and a rabbit fur around his neck.

Coworker: When did diapers become barbarian gear?

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